My boyfriend is shorter than I am October 24, 2001
Hello Dr. Ellen: I have a boyfriend that is shorter than I am.
Sometimes at functions he really pretends that it's okay but
I think he is not comfortable. It also bothers me at times
because I am well-known in my area and people like to see who
I am going out with. I like him alot and want to spend time
with him but how do we cope with this height issue? Please
help. - Penny
Dear Penny: Most people have an imaginary picture of who they
want their future mate to look like. Some prefer a certain
hair or eye color, a specific body frame, or a certain size.
I believe that it takes many failed relationships and
maturity to finally understand that while it's important to be
physically attracted to a person, the outer package is really
not as important as the inner package. The warmth of
someone's smile, the twinkle in their eyes, their personality,
their sense of humor are just some of the qualities that
should connect you emotionally. It is true that some people
you know may stare if there is big difference in your height.
However, when they see the respect and love that exists, they
quickly get over it. How you view yourself is how people come
to view you.
I had a cousin who moved from Germany to the U.S.
when she was 16 years old. She was 5' 8" tall. When she was 23
she fell in love with and married a man who was 5' 3". I was
13 at the time and I still remember everyone in the family
commenting about the difference in their height. Through the
years and holidays we spent together we all saw how they
looked at each other and felt the chemistry that they had.
They were always so connected and loving to each other until
the day she died. As far as I was concerned they were a couple
that everyone envied. Had either of them been concerned with
what other people thought they would have missed out on a
truly blessed life that included three wonderful children and
4 grandchildren. - Dr. Ellen
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