In the past few days, we have compounded some good articles on exercise & fitness, physical and mental health for your reading pleasures. We strive to make this site useful and informative in ways that would improve the quality of life for our users.
It just dawns on us how long fitness articles are. We find it ironic since fitness readers are active and energetic. They wouldn't sit still for 15 or 30 minutes to read an article on Crunches. They want it short and to the point. You would think the experts in this field would know better.
Their articles are useful, but only half. The other half is just junk. As webmasters, we just want to cut those babbling sentences off, but we don't have the rights. We can either publish it or don't, but we can't edit it. Don't you just hate that? We wish we had more control over what we want to put on our site. Anyway we have some great articles for you this week at http://ISOpersonals.com/love/. We are sure you will find them useful.
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Dating Humor:
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COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon)n. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.
I don't do well on dates. I always imagine what my date would look like naked--and then either panic or drool.
Provided by 2smallworlds of "First mate seeking her Captain" at http://ISOpersonals.com/ad.cgi?2smallworlds
Please send in your funny stuff. We run out of jokes. Mailto: webmaster@ISOpersonals.com
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What's New!
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Wow, we have plenty of new stuff for you this week. You may have noticed the "Rating This Ad" feature we just rolled out this week.
How many times have you spent hours searching for the perfect ad and all you got were "email me and we'll talk!" ads? From now on, if you feel like wasting your time reading an ad, give it one-star. So in your future search, you will only have to read 5 or 4-star rating ads, no mor junk ads. Isn't that cool? It would save you a lot of time.
Besides rating, as a premium member, you can give feedback for the ad's owner. You can say what you like and don't like about the ad. It's good because you can help to improve this person's ad and vice versa.
From all your ratings, we have the "Best Ads" and "Worst Ads" lists. You can use it as examples of how you should write your own ad.
What do you think? Don't you think they are all good features? Why don't you stroll by our site and give some ads your rating now!
http://ISOpersonals.com/
You should log in first.
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Useful Tips:
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When you write your ad, you should break it down into several small paragraphs. It is easier to read and it looks neat, clean, easy-going and professional.
Long paragraphs look busy and hard to read. Readers might duck out before finishing your ad.
To place your ad, login and click "Place Ad"
http://ISOpersonals.com
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Weekly Article:
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Affect on Each Other
Do you know what kind of an affect you have on other people? Are they better off knowing and interacting with you? Or do you leave people worse off and having to recover?
If you leave people better off than you found them, you know how good it feels to make this contribution to others. When you help and support others, you increase your self-esteem. Also, by treating others well, you naturally expect to be treated well by others. Because you expect it, you do in fact get better treatment. It becomes a positive, nurturing cycle.
On the other hand, if you have ever left someone worse off than when you found him or her, you know how bad it feels to take away from others. Leaving people worse off lowers your self- esteem. You lose a bit of self-trust and self-respect. You begin to expect others to treat you poorly as well. It becomes a vicious cycle.
This is not to say that you should never hurt others, or that you should take care of others to the detriment to yourself. Always do what is best for you. But whenever possible, leave people better off than you found them, even if that means leaving them for good.
For example, let's say you are not the tidiest person, and you are house sitting for a friend. You leave a bit of a mess behind, move some things around. When the homeowners return, they have to put their house back in order before they get a chance to rest. This takes time, attention and effort. They may become resentful and angry with you. You have just left them worse off than you found them.
If you had cleaned up after yourself, your actions would have had a different affect on them. They could come home, relax and be grateful to you. What if, in fact, you left their house better than you found it? Say you left some flowers or had dinner waiting for them? How would they feel when they returned? Nurtured, loved, and grateful. Definitely better off.
Think of other people's lives as their houses. If you enter their lives and don't clean up after yourself, they will have to deal with your mess. This robs them of energy. Unfortunately, we can sometimes leave a mess in people's lives without realizing it.
Consider two people on a first date. They have a great time and make plans for a second date. Yet the man is never heard from again. The woman wonders what happened, why she got mixed signals, and if she's done something wrong or wasn't attractive enough. The mess this man left behind for the woman is her lowered self-esteem and unanswered questions.
Consider a different couple in a long-term relationship. The woman suddenly leaves the relationship, never having voiced that anything was wrong. Her partner wonders what went wrong, what he did wrong, and he will wonder and be in pain for a long time. The mess he is left with is pain, fear of abandonment, mistrust of others, and mistrust of himself.
Or let's look at another couple. Let's say the man does not participate as much as the woman would like. She tries to get him to help, spends a lot of energy on trying to change him, and all the while wonders why he does not love her enough to participate more. The mess for the woman is a drain of her energy to compensate for the lack of participation from her partner.
Here are a few other instances of how our actions affect others:
=> Being rude leaves people hurt
=> Cheating leaves a partner feeling betrayed and deeply hurt
=> Lying leaves people doubting themselves
=> Breaking a promise leaves people frustrated and mistrustful of others
If we are not aware of our affect on others, we cause damage. The world has too much disappointment and pain for us to add more.
What would your life be like if you left flowers in other people's houses and cooked them dinner? What would it be like if you left a trail of caring and communication? This may be as simple as making that phone call you don't want to make to tell someone you are not interested in dating them. Or it may be a bit more difficult, like telling your partner what is not working in the relationship and negotiating to make it work. It may be contributing and participating more so you and your partner have a great life. It may be saying you are sorry, or telling the truth when it would be easier to lie.
Whatever you have to do to leave people's lives intact and their energy full is worth doing. It may be a risk, a bit scary or uncomfortable. But it leaves you whole and allows you to move forward in your life. It fills their house with flowers and brings sunshine into yours.
Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
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Copyright Rinatta Paries, 1998-01. This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in The Relationship Coach Newsletter, designed to inspire, educate and coach both singles and couples in attracting and sustaining healthy, loving, fulfilling relationships. To have this weekly e-zine delivered to your e-mail, subscribe at www.WhatItTakes.com.
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