We’ve all done it at one time or another. We whine to our friends about the lack of nice available guys, and then, when given the choice between a nice, sweet (safe) guy and a bad boy who makes our toes curl, we invariably go for the toe-curler. The heartbreak-waiting-to-happen. The bad boy.
Doesn’t make any sense, does it?
I recently received a letter from a sweet guy who wrote,
“I've been looking for some insights to what women are looking for, because
from my perspective, they often go for that which they complain about most!
Got any advice for us men?”
Baby, you hit the nail right on the head.
There’s good news and bad news for all you nice guys out there. Your day will come. It just may not be today.
Nearly all women go through some period in their lives when they’re swept up by a bad boy. The Navy Seal with the amazing bod and the mental prowess of a fruit plate. The Harley guy with mean beard stubble and an attitude to match. The Josh Hartnett look-alike who makes us feel like the center of the universe, and then puts the moves on our roommate the minute we leave for the ladies room. We can see these guys coming a mile away, and yet we fall for it every time.
Why?
Part of us actually like to believe we can be the one girl to turn this wild man into a pussycat. Part of us just like that down-to-our-toes thrill, the excitement of something we KNOW is bad for us. (Like chocolate cheesecake, and Jimmy Choo shoes.) Part of us are just gluttons for misery.
Most women actually grow out of the bad-boy phase once we hit our mid twenties. Our girlfriends start to couple off, and we start wondering if we used up our nice guy quota in college when were still torturing men for sport. That’s where you come in, Mr. Sweet Guy. Because you’re the guy we really want.
Here’s my advice for all the nice guys:
Remember what we were wearing on our first date. Give romantic gifts on birthdays and anniversaries (and remember flower-mandatory holidays such as Valentine’s Day.) Get what we’re all about. Let us know what you’re all about. Kill any bugs that sneak into the kitchen. Give us your coat when it gets chilly outside. And remember there’s a fine line between being a nice guy and being a doormat –don’t take any crap from us. After all, you don’t want to be a good boy in love with a bad girl.
